A Monster Problem
by PersephoneQ
Summary: Dean has a bit of problem, that turns into a medium-sized, and ends up a problem bigger than Earth and possibly everything outside of it. In short-a monster problem. AU, happening somewhere within season 5,6,or 7, your pick. Cas/Dean, Mpreg!Dean.
1. Dependant

(A/N): got the idea (and permission to totally steal it) from TheYmp's_ Hooke's Law_. I recommend you read it, because he is amazing :)

* * *

As Sam drove, Dean slept in the backseat and even in his sleep, Sam could tell he wasn't exactly a happy camper. Then again, wouldn't you be a little grumpy if you had just found out that you had been impregnated by the monster you were hunting? Of course not, most people _run_ from monsters, not do the dirty with them.

Sam let out a stress-filled sigh, while at the same time trying to stop a chuckle from slipping out as he thought of his brothers reaction to the news.

* * *

_The moment his brother swaggered his way into their hotel room, arms full of McDonald's and beer, he knew why Dean hadn't shown at the crime scene last night. And he was pissed. Dean had a habit of doing that to him, like he was Sams automatic stress button._

_"Had fun last night, I'm guessing?"_

_Dean shrugged his shoulder and Sam found it odd that, when Dean turned to face him, he didn't have that annoying, self assured grin he usually did after a nights "conquest"._

_"I dunno man. I mean, _she_ was great-but after? Man I threw up three times on my way here _alone!_ Not to mention the headaches and I passed out once-"_

_Dean had only been in the room for about three minutes and Sam was already coming to a few conclusions; either Dean was a bigger martyr (or idiot. Or both. Probably both.) than he's thought previously or Dean was still drunk._

_"Excuse me?_ _You_ passed out_? And that didn't strike you as-I don't know-_odd_? Do you think you caught some kinda bug or something?"_

_Dean shrugged. "I hope that's all it is."_

_Sam shook his head in agreement and decided to let his brother off the hook for this one. "Anyway, I got some stuff on the baby thief."_

_Dean snorted. "Rumpelstiltskin, right?"_

_Sam shook his head with his customary sigh and frustrated/exhausted scowl. "I wish, man, but this thing's about five times worse. It's an African river snake that, according to legend, slips its skin on the month of their mother, Nyaminyami, which just happens to be June-lucky us-, turning into beautiful men and woman for just that one month a year. They spend the entire month finding 'mates' and laying their eggs inside of them*. Which would explain why there were a few _men_ who'd had their babies stolen."_

_Dean nodded, only half paying attention as he went pale, abruptly set down, and began breathing deeply, holding his stomach. "Y-you'd think there would b-be more of them then...r-right?"_

_Sam looked over and noted his brothers ragged and sickly appearance, but before he could ask, Dean gave him a glare that almost physically hurt, it was so strong. Sam took a hint for once and let it go. "Um...yeah, but they-uh-they need to mate in the river they were born in, so-Dean?"_

_Dean had suddenly collapsed, falling off his chair and onto the floor where he began to throw up so bad, it turned red. Sam jumped up and rushed to help his brother, dragging him into the bathroom and putting him in front of the toilet and rubbing his back as his brother threw up blood and cried. It was scary, Sam would admit, but he hid his fear by asking Dean questions-where he'd been, if the person he'd been with had been sick, when the throwing up had started-but Dean didn't-_couldn't_ respond._

_When Dean finally stopped, he rested his cheek on the toilet seat as Sam flushed the red mess away._

_"G-god...this is bad..."_

_Sam nodded and helped his brother sit on the edge of the bathtub as he helped him out of his now ruined t-shirt and jeans and gave him a cover while he found him new clothes, as Dean was now shivering._

_"Sammy?"_

_Sam sat up from his scrubbing of the carpet in the mini kitchen."Hush Dean, just relax. Take a nap in the bathtub, okay? That way if you throw up, we won't have to pay for new sheets." Dean laughed weakly at Sams pathetic attempt at humor, but was cut off halfway by a dry heave. "Just take it easy, okay, no talking or moving-"_

_"Sammy. I'm not sick."_

_Sam stopped his frantic, almost obsessive cleaning (it was his coping mechanism) and looked over at Dean, raising an eyebrow._

_Dean backtracked at that look. "Well, I am sick but it's not because I caught anything or anything. Or maybe I did on top of this, which would explain why it hurts so much-"_

_"Dean! Get to the point, please!"_

_"I think the ***** mated me."_

_Dean then promptly threw up again and Sam had to check to make sure he hadn't broken anything when he passed out and fell backwards into the bathtub._

It took a few days, but they finally got to Bobby's. When they drove up, Bobby was already on the front porch, Ellen and Jo by his side. All of them looked pissed and worried, except Jo who looked pissed, worried, and amused. Typical.

Sam parked and stepped out quickly, practically running to the back to wake Dean up and help him get out of the car. Dean had been extremely emotional and fragile since he'd woken up, needing Sam to help him walk and lift things for him and deal with him getting angry about these things without getting angry himself. All this generally just made Dean even angrier, which usually led to him stomping off to his motel room, locking the door, and breaking everything inside it he could find. Now was no different as he shook Sam off, but almost collapsed when he tried to take more than a step by himself. Sam caught him and slung his arm around his brothers waist and his brothers arm around his shoulders.

"I hate this. I hate you."

Sam glared and sighed but said nothing, causing Dean to smirk a bit, thinking he'd finally won something against Sam. Sam, surprisingly, let him and just carried him up the steps to the porch, stopping so he could pass Dean off to Jo and Ellen and he and Bobby could talk as the five of them headed back inside.

"Just when I thought you boys couldn't get any dumber-"

Dean flipped him off, but groaned and almost threw up on the floor, but Sam was prepared and thrust a trash can into Jo's hands, who held it under Dean as he puked blood.

Bobby cursed and turned to Sam. "Do you know what did it?"

Sam nodded and filled him in.

Bobby scratched his beard and let this sink in. "Well that doesn't make sense-their stomachs exploded, but their babies were gone. Did the babies just crawl their way out?"

Sam shook his head. "Junas's**, the river snakes, don't just lay one or two or even three eggs. They lay thousands. So many are inside the mates that often, their stomachs explode from the pressure."

Dean looked up from the couch and looked about on the verge of tears. "I have thousands of those little turds in me?"

Sam nodded nervously, but was quick to add, "Only a few of those actually make it out, though. So, until the majority of Deans little monster babies die in his stomach-which is why he's throwing up-he's gonna be really sick for a while. Oh, and big. Really big."

Bobby collapsed into his chair, took his hat off, and scratched his head in thought. "Any way to speed that up? Or better yet-get rid of 'em all?"

Sam started to shake his head no, but stopped and almost smiled. "I don't know, but there is someone who might. Dean?"

Dean groaned and waved his hand at Sam. "You call him. I'm napping."

Jo covered her mouth and left the room, but Sam openly laughed, stopping only when Dean threw a pillow at him.

"Alright, alright, I'll call."

Sam clasped his hands, closed his eyes, and bowed his head. "Dear Castiel, I know you've kinda got a war going on up there, but would it be possible for you to come down here for a bit. We've kinda got a problem." Silence. "A Dean problem." Still nothing. "A bad one."

Sam groaned when he opened his eyes to find the room empty of any "feathered friends".

Dean sighed, sat up from the enormous fortress of blankets and pillows Jo had made for him (his hair sticking up funnily, which looked oddly cute on him as he had already started to gain some pudge), slammed his hands together, squeezed his eyes shut.

"Hey Cas, if you're not down here in five seconds, I'll come up there and drag you down. Don't make me come up there!"

That got Cas's attention. A flutter of feathers announced his arrival, scaring the living daylights out of Jo and Ellen. "I hope for your sake that was a joke."

Dean snickered and collapsed into his fortress. "Ooh, threatening me now, are you? Geez, I'm terrified!"

Dean was almost asleep again, but he promptly woke up when he felt a hand on his now slightly bloated belly. "Dude, what the hell, Cas?"

Cas was pretty much ignoring Dean, instead looking at his stomach, seeming to see more than was really there, with a small smile. He finally looked up at Dean, still smiling. "They are beautiful. I believe you would say, 'congratulations'?"

Dean sat up straight at that. "You can see the little ****ers?"

Castiel shook his head. "Not their bodies, no, but their souls. Theirs shine almost as bright as yours."

Deafen blushed bright at that and ducked his head. "U-um, thanks...I guess?"

"How many are there?", Sam asked.

Castiel looked back at Deans stomach, chuckling a little when Dean blushed again, glared, and tried to cover his stomach with his arms. "Dean, I am an angel. I can see souls through skin."

Deans blushed darkened and he grumbled. "Whatever."

Cas ignored Dean and said to Sam, "Approximately three hundred."

There was a collective curse among the occupants of the room, and Deans hands went back to his stomach, looking down at it with wonder.

"How big are they?"

"I can only see their souls, but..."

Cas reached forward and put a hand on Deans belly, concentrated, and his eyes glowed a little before he backed off, sat down, and held Deans hand. He pointed to Deans pinky fingernail. "Approximately that big, Dean."

Dean smiled a little, but seemed to remember that other people were around and curled back into his fortress and fell asleep.

"Cas, do you know any way to get those out of Dean faster?"

Cas seemed to think for a bit, then nodded but looked worriedly at him. "I can get the living ones out by their souls, but the dead ones have to come out naturally. And it will hurt him greatly, both physically and mentally."

Sam thought about this, but nodded for Cas to do it anyway.

Cas sighed and put two fingers on Deans stomach, slowly pulling away as a line of pure bluish white light streamed out of Dean and to Cas's fingers. Dean began moaning and gripping the covers in his sleep, sweating and screaming in pain. He opened his eyes a little and grabbed Cas's hand with his own shaky one.

"P-please...let t-them sta-ay..."

Sam shook his head and put a hand on Deans shoulder to get his attention. "Dean we have to get these out of you-"

Dean stopped moving, stopped breathing, and turned extremely pale. Cas immediately let go of the string of souls. Dean took a deep breath, then turned on his side and threw up.

Dean sat up a second later and wiped his mouth and looked at Cas worriedly with tears streaming down his face. "S-so what's the diagnosis, doc?"

Cas did not lift his eyes from Deans stomach. "They have intertwined their souls with yours, Dean." Cas smirked a little. "They are just as stubborn as you are."

Dean fell back against the pillows and Jo put a wet washcloth on his face. "Awesome. Just awesome."

Cas turned to Sam with a serious expression on his face. "There is good news and bad news."

Dean groaned. "Good news first, please."

Sam gasped with mock astonishment. "You said please!"

Dean glared over at his brother. "Stuff it, *****!"

"Jerk", Sam replied and for a second he could almost imagine that nothing had changed.

Cas coughed awkwardly to get their attention. "The good news is that Dean will be infinitely more powerful than before, due to the souls. Likely, if they were to stop dying, he would be more powerful that even the strongest arch angel." Cas gave a pointed look, but held his tongue. "The bad news is that, because they are so entangled in Dean, when they die they will drain him and likely cause him grief. They will also have more control over his actions and emotions as the pregnancy goes on."

Dean sat up and glared. "Don't call it that." When everyone gave him surprised looks (except Cas, who gave Dean a sympathetic look), he sat back and growled. "Great! So for the next oh, nine months or so, I'll waddle around, crying and throwing fits like a pregnant girl. That'll go down great with the monsters!", he said sarcastically.

"No!", Sam shouted. "No monsters, demons, or angels, except Cas, until this is over, alright?"

Dean whined, turning over and giving Sam puppy dog eyes. "Pwease, Sammy?"

Sam glared, unaffected after years of preparation. "No."

Dean turned the look on Cas, who bit his lip, gave a miserable look to Sam, and disappeared. Dean glared and gave it one last try on Bobby. Bobby stayed strong for all of two minutes until the tears started falling.

"One more hunt, and we're all goin' with ya. And I swear to God, if you come back with even a scratch, it'll be the last hunt you ever go on, got me?"

Sam threw Bobby *****face number seven and stormed off when Bobby only shrugged.

Dean punched his fist in the air. "Yea-...oh god-"

He then proceeded to throw up all over Castiel's coat. Cas sighed and wiped Deans mouth with his tie.

Dean smiled shakily and chuckled a bit. "S-sorry."

* * *

*real African Goddess, fake myth and mystery.

**not a real monster, but hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

***Side note: When you see multiple of these little buggers (*), that means a curse word should go there. Be creative, insert whatever you think fits.

Read and Review

Saint-cerely, Perse. Q.


	2. Junies

**Chapter two**

* * *

"Sammy!"

Sam jumped awake, looking around frantically for what had woken him. When Dean called him again, he groaned and let his head fall back down the pile of books he had been inspecting for information on the Junas and its mates.

Bobby chuckled and pushed his chair out to get up. "I'll get it; you can sleep. God knows you need it."

Sam mumbled, but stood up and followed Bobby. "Nah, I'll get it. Knowing him, it's probably something ridiculous, like a hug or something."

Bobby chuckled but nodded. Lately, the "Junies" as Dean had taken to calling them, had been taking advantage of their attachment to Dean to force him to be a hungry, needy, bloody mess. Dean had to constantly have someone watching and entertaining him, otherwise, the Junies complained.

Actually, Junies complained a lot. They seemed to like Dean just about as much as Dean liked them. And Dean really hated them.

Since their first day at Bobby's, Dean hadn't been allowed to do much. He couldn't hunt (that "last" hunt Bobby promised Dean wasn't going to happen until Dean had thrown up so many Junies that he didn't need to anymore), couldn't go outside (due to the fact that, since there was so many Junies inside of him, he got really big really fast. There was no way to deny he was pregnant, and normal people probably wouldn't react well to that), and couldn't work on the Impala (Dean had thrown quite the hissy fit over that one). And, after about three days, he couldn't move either. He'd been confined to his bed upstairs since then, and mostly just played cards with Jo, Ellen, and Cas, who'd made a point to visit once or twice a day for a few hours.

In short, the Junies, made Deans life Hell. And it was only getting worse as he lost more and more of them each day. So many, actually, that he was starting to lose their weight, now only a bit bigger than he'd been before. According to Cas, there was only fifty left inside of him.

To Sam's surprise, when he came inside Deans small room (it wasn't really that small, but the size of his bed made it seem that way), Dean wasn't begging for a hug, losing a poker game and needing someone to call a foul on Ellen, or griping and asking for more food (if Sam thought Dean ate a lot back before, he was blown away by how much he ate now. It made the appetite of those from Gluttony's town seem like lightweights). Instead, he was just beginning to finish throwing up, pure red and white seeping from his lips. His eyes had large black rings under them despite the amount of sleep he got having doubled-obviously a sign of the stress he was under. He was pale, paler than ever, but seemed to be visibly shrinking as the red and white continued to spew.

Dean seemed to notice them and wiped the string of blood off of his mouth, tearing up and reaching a hand out for his brother.

"S-Saaa-ugh-"

Sam raced over to his brother and rubbed his back as the last of it left him. These puking spells seemed to be getting longer and worse than before. Sam was terrified by this, because Dean was so weak now. Even though he was small enough to support himself, he couldn't. And maybe, if the Junies or their dead brethren didn't kill Dean, maybe...maybe Dean would.

The emotional stress he'd been put through the past few years (aka, all his life) were finally starting to seep out and it made Sam realize how fragile his older brother really was. He understood now, why Cas always took so much care around Dean, both before and after the mating. Dean was broken, and there was only so much duct tape in the world to fix him.

It didn't help that Lucifer was constantly bringing this up to him. Sometimes it was just calm reminding or chiding when he got too optimistic, but sometimes it was angry shouting, or an impersonation of Dean, dying slowly, blood and dead Junies pouring out his lifeless, blue lips. Other times, like now, Lucifer would sit next to Dean and cut his stomach open, pulling out each and every one of the Junies with careful and calm precision and concentration. Occasionally, he would look one over then eat it, making Sam hold a hand over his mouth and force his own throw up back down for fear that Lucifer would put a Junie in it.

Even though Sam knew that the Junies were human until they were old enough to grow their own skin, when Lucifer pulled them out, they weren't. They were disgusting, slimy, dark-green creatures that weren't much bigger than his palm. They had a general human shape, but had short tails that curled around his fingers and squeezed until it hurt. And they all had Deans bright green eyes.

They were monsters, things he was trained to kill. And Dean had given birth to them. In his rational mind, that led to only one conclusion; Dean had to be a monster too.

"And bingo was his name-o! Look at you, coming to such dangerous and truthful conclusions on your own!" Lucifer put a hand where his heart should have been. "I'm so proud."

Sam glared briefly over at Lucifer as Dean fell back asleep and Bobby went downstairs to find Jo and Ellen to inform them of what had happened with Dean and what their research had lead to today. "Shut up", he muttered.

Lucifer held both hands up. "Hey, don't take it from me if you don't want to. There are plenty of other people here to vouch for this opinion. You and Bobby, for example." Lucifer dropped his hands and glared in tired exasperation when Sam just looked confused. "Oh come on, you know this one! You just spent an hour dreaming about it, two reading about it! If a mate gets attached to his or her breeder, the Junas can bite him or her and by the time the next June rolls around, the mate is a full blown Junas, skin, fangs, body, and all. And if that hickie on Deans neck in anything to go by, he's probably quite attached to his little breeder slut."

Sam's eyes swelled up with tears, and he shook his head, firmly not looking st the devil on his shoulder. Out of all the torture Lucifer's put Sam through, this had to be the worst. Dean mumbled and turned in his sleep, one hand in Sam's, the other on his belly, a small frown playing on is face.

Sam ran a hand through his brothers' hair and when Dean smiled and leaned into it like a cat, came to a conclusion. Even if Dean was a monster, Sam wouldn't care. He would be there for his cranky, emotional, fragile brother until both of their clocks stopped. If he was lucky, even after that, too. Lucifer and the cold heat he always brought disappeared seconds after, and Sam considered it a victory.

* * *

Outside, Jo and Ellen were working on the Impala, who had recently broken down when Cas accidentally landed on top of "her". It was slow and agonizing work, because they had to be very careful and gentle with this particular car. After all, it's owner was an irrational, strung out, sick pregnant man who couldn't move two steps without stepping into some kind of unsurvivable trouble that he always came out of unscathed (physically, anyway).

"Jo, baby, can you go get me a beer?"

Jo snorted, already wiping the grease off her hands and taking off her work boots. "Get it yourself, Ma, I'm gonna take a break and go check on Dean."

Ellen was about to tell Jo not to tell her what to do when the sound of the door opening, not closing and a gruff voice interrupted her.

"No need, I was just up there."

"And?", Ellen asked.

Bobby hesitated and Ellen slid out from under the Impala in worry. "Well? Spit it out, old man, I'm not getting any younger!"

Bobby chose to ignore the "old man" comment, mostly because Jo slapped her over the head for it, and rubbed the back of his neck as he told his tale. "Not good. By the time I got there, he had been puking probably around seven minutes straight. Couldn't even talk. Fainted as soon as the buggers were out. And to top it all, off, Sam looked a little...distracted."

Ellen sat her rag down and cursed, standing up and glaring up at Bobby. "******, Bobby! I don't know what to do with these kids! They're bouncing off the walls this way and that! I swear, if John ever comes back, I'm gonna wring his neck and-" Ellen sighed when she felt her daughters hand on her shoulder. "So, you think it's Lucifer?", Jo asked for her mother, who nodded, rubbing her temples stressfully.

Bobby nodded. "But, I have a theory. I think the devil appears when Sam's stressed. Maybe forcing him to relax and not worry will make Lucifer go away."

Jo crossed her arms and shook her head no. "That's smart, but it's never gonna work. Sam is the second most stubborn person I know and I know a lot of hard headed, straight-ahead-Fred type of people. He won't be able to relax until he's positive his brother is fine, then the world, then everyone else.

Ellen 'hmm'ed in agreement. "That kid's got a lot on his shoulders and I don't think he'll let it all go willingly."

Bobby smiled. "What do you think I bought sedatives for, the dogs?"

Ellen's jaw dropped. "No way, Bobby, thats going too far."

Bobby waved a hand nonchalantly. "You don't think I know that? Those are a last resort! For right now, I'm just gonna keep an eye on that one. An', who knows, maybe he won't drop all of his worries, but if we're lucky, maybe he'll drop some of them taking care of Dean. You know, first things first an' all."

Jo laughed and passed Bobby, patting his shoulder as he did so. "Lets hope so, right? Anyway, I'm gonna go see if Cas is around so he can tell us how many are left. You too don't do anything crazy, now, ya hear?"

Jo pointed a finger at each of them before nodding and swinging the door shut behind her.

Bobby scoffed and Ellen snorted, but it got uncomfortably quiet in seconds. Ellen began wiping her hands and arms of the grease and dirt and paint, then took her boots off, got two beers from the cooler in the kitchen, and came back into the garage looking determined.

"So, didja find anything on the Junas?"

Bobby took a deep gulp of his beer and shook his head. "Nah, but I did find some stuff on the Junies."

Ellen raised her eyebrows. "Well, what'dja find?"

Bobby shrugged, but looked a bit dark. "Nothing good. The, uh, pregnancy of Junies, depending on how many the mate has, is much longer than normal human pregnancies because of the number. And there is exactly a zero percent rate of survival during it. So, we'll have to cut Dean open early and get them out while their still growing, but..."

"But how do we know when is too soon and when is too late.", Ellen finished for him. "We could probably ask Cas to keep an eye on that. That's solved, next!"

Bobby chuckled and shook his head. "Alright, but this is a big'un."

Ellen laughed out right and Bobby thought it was a beautiful sound. "Should I get more beer? Should I sit down?"

Bobby ignored this but for his small smirk, and continued. "Cas told us that the Junies wrapped their souls around Deans right? So when we take them out, they probably won't be willing to disentangle. How do you fix that? Even Cas couldn't separate them!"

Ellen sat forward and crossed her arms over her knees in thought. "We could ask them."

Bobby scoffed. "Ask them? They aren't even a month old!"

Ellen shook her head. "Not now, dummy, later, when they're ready to leave the nest! They actually seem to be able to hear Dean a lot of them time."

Bobby took his hat off and ran a hand through his hair with a tired sign. "Well, it's crazier than a barrel of monkeys, but it could work. Anyway, right now we should-"

Suddenly, Jo burst into the room, a worried Cas right behind her. Jo ran across the room and hugged her mom, squealing something fast and excitedly into her ear.

Ellen pulled her away, taking in the fact that tears streamed down her face and her smile was happier than it had been in a long time. "What is it, baby girl? What's going on?"

"It is over", Cas said for her. "Dean has released the last of the dead and dying...Junies."

Ellen looked surprised and Bobby mouthed, "thank the Lord" to the ceiling. "Well how many are left?", Ellen asked.

Cas looked somewhat nervous. "Twelve."

* * *

Read, Review, rant about how amazing I am and how much Lucifer disgusts you in this; just let me know what you think :)

-Perse Q.


	3. Adventures in Hormones

**Chapter Three**

* * *

Dean sat in the kitchen, head in his hands and chocolate milk in a wine glass (Bobby wouldn't let him drink any alcohol or caffeine because of the Junies and Ellen had all the other cups in the dish washer) untouched in front of him. After nearly a week and a half of seeing Dean as whiny, needy, and _big_, seeing him here, in his stretched out maroon tee (the same one from yesterday and the day before and the day before that...) and wrinkled, dirty flannel pajama bottoms, he seemed like a different person. He was still needy and the whining had never left him, but now he was more reluctantly dependent than needy. Compared to the big bellied, emotional, and extremely sick monster he'd been only a few days ago, now he seemed small, worryingly silent and introverted, and vulnerable. Sam felt more worried and protective of him than ever and, judging by the way Cas and the others stood, arms crossed, leaning in, and frowning ever so slightly, they did too.

"Twelve?"

Cas nodded.

Dean signed and let himself collapse onto the table, chin resting on the table and long, skinny arms (_how had they gotten so small?_, Sam thought. _Only two weeks ago, they had seemed so thick and burly!_) and grabbing the wine glass, fiddling with it and spilling it everywhere. Dean pouted and this, combined with his bed-ruffled, longer than usual blond hair and tired looking green eyes, made him look both miserable and adorable.

"Can humans even survive that?"

"I am confident that you can survive anything you wish to, Dean", Cas said with a small smile.

Dean finally tipped the glass over, pouring milk everywhere, not even watching as Jo took the glass from him and Ellen cleaned up the mess. Instead, he crossed his arms on the table and rested his head in them, turning to look at Castiel directly.

"How are you gonna get these puppies out then, huh? Obviously, I can't have a normal pregnancy, not unless it's coming out my mouth and that's not happenin'. And what about after! Where are we gonna keep the Junies? Or are they just gonna toddle away after I'm through carrying them around in-what-my stomach, I guess?"

"That would explain the throwing up, yes", Cas answered and Dean gave him a deadpan look then turned his big, tired, sad-looking green eyes to Sam.

Sam signed and ignored Lucifer as he slowly traced a knife over Dean's now-flat stomach, over the cuts he had made dozens of times and forced Sam to watch again and again. "We are going to do a c-section, and, since Cas can see the Junies, he's gonna tell us when they're ready to take out. No worries, Dean."

"And after?", Dean asked.

"I dunno. I guess we could send them to an orphanage or something..."

"Oh yeah, two dudes dropping off twelve newborns at a nursery with no birth certificates-not suspicious at all!"

Somewhere between Sam's explanation of the pregnancy and Deans doubts about orphanages, he'd begun to tap his feet on the floor and fiddle with his fingers. He was shaking now, and fidgeting so badly, it was making Sam nervous just watching him and Bobby was rapidly losing patience with the "holding back" act. Finally, Cas leaned forward and grabbed Deans shaking hands in one of his own and laid a calming hand on Deans bouncing knee.

"Dean. You need to calm down." When Dean seemed to do the exact opposite of this, Cas tried a different approach. "Trust us, Dean, as we have trusted you. We will help you and the Junies get through this safely and as quickly as possible. It will be a long and hard journey, but it's nothing we haven't faced before."

Dean looked over at him, green eyes sad and tired, but no longer really anxious or worried*. "Why me? Why it is it always me and you guys that they through the curve balls to?

Cas shrugged and shifted his attention from Dean to his stomach, putting a hand on it and smiling at the shining, "beautiful" souls he saw (something that used to annoy Dean to no end, but now Dean saw as almost a greeting, to both him and the Junies). "They aren't the worst that's happened."

"They're not the best, though", Dean (and Lucifer, much to Sam's chagrin) pointed out, negatively but with a sarcastic smile.

Cas seemed confused. "What was, then?"

Dean's smile evaporated and he avoided Castiels eyes as he looked pretty much everywhere except at him. "You."

Cas's small smile froze then widened at this, before he leaned forward and kissed Deans forehead lightly, making Deans eyes widen. "You are the best thing that's happened for me as well, Dean. You opened my eyes to a world I'd only ever dreamed of joining and with it I gained _real_ friends and_ real_family." Cas frowned a bit and tilted his head, looking a bit over Deans head. "I must go now, though. I will see you later today, I am sure."

"You better be.", Dean growled, clearly embarrassed but needing his friend, and Cas disappeared in a flurry of soft feathery noises and light, but gravely laughter.

The room was silent for a minute, before Dean unconsciously raised a hand to his forehead, smiling a bit at the floor. Sam and Jo fought back snickers without success and Dean heard it immediately, shooting a razor sharp glare at them all before jumping down, hand on his stomach, and running back up the stairs to his room.

"Shut up! I'm gonna go change for our hunt! And I swear to God, Sammy, if it's a witch, I'm gonna be sick all over your precious computer!"

Sam laughed and Lucifer growled before pouring water all over said computer, sneering as Sam flinched but did not run to fix it as it sparked and make worrying sounds.

"Geez, Sam, what's with the cold shoulder, huh? Just a week ago we were taking fast-paced walks through back alleys and talking to walls." Lucifer pouted and touched his shoulder. "I miss you, Sammy. Come back and play with me!"

Sam ignored him, didn't even flinch when the hand landed in his shoulder, and smiled only as a loud bang and a string of curses came from upstairs. He could almost pretend he didn't notice when Lucifer disappeared, if only briefly.

* * *

When Dean came down about ten minutes later in a t-shirt, a button up (actually buttoned up for once), and one of Sam's old hoodies, Bobby looked up from his and Sam's research with a snort.

"You do know it's July, right? The hottest month of the year?"

Dean flipped him off and started to give him some smart aleck remark, but cut himself off. He sniffed for a second, then licked his lips with a smirk and practically ran into the kitchen. Sam and Bobby exchanged looks, but schooled their features into blank, slightly sarcastic grins as Dean came back into the room, a grilled cheese sandwich in one hand, a shiny red apple in the other, and a water bottle full of tomato in the crook of his elbow.

"What? She wouldn't give me her sam'ich unless I ate an apple too."

Sam raised an eyebrow, the edge of his lip twitching as he restrained bursting out laughing. "S-sam'ich, Dean? Really? And you realize you're eating the same thing a kindergartener would, right?"

Dean turned bright red and glared daggers, then stomped outside, grabbing his bag on the way, yelling, "Shut up, Sam!", as he shut the door.

Sam gave his brothers back a worried look and Bobby snorted. "Geez son, I think you've upset the poor boy."

"You think", Sam said as he gathered his stuff quickly. "Pack you're crap, Bobby, you're comin' with on this one."

Bobby grunted and Jo walked into the room, a brown sack in hand. "Someone's in trouble!", she teased in a sing-song voice, shoving the bag into Sam's arms. "Give that to Grumpy, would you? And don't be so harsh on him, mkay? Mom says that the amount of Junies he's having might be pushing the symptoms to occur earlier and to be worse than normal."

Sam's expression softened and he smiled. "I'll take good care of him. Always have, right?"

Jo nodded and turned back into the kitchen, but paused and turned a bit. "Oh, and tell Dean that Mom says that if that bag isn't empty by the time you yahoos get back, she'll rip him a new one."

Sam laughed and nodded. "Will do, Jo. Have fun here and-would you mind stocking up on food that monster can eat? I have a feeling we'll need it."

Jo nodded and said her goodbyes to Bobby and then they headed out.

Outside, Dean had just finished off his apple, having long ago taken the last bite of his grilled cheese sandwich, and was just starting on his tomato juice. While he ate his weight in whatever he could get his hands on, as he'd been doing all morning since he'd woken up after a week spent dfcomatose, he thought about the predicament he was now in.

Being pregnant wasn't an easy thing, not in the least. Just the thought of it made Dean want to throw up again (it would be the fourth time this morning), not that everything didn't make Dean want to upchuck. Even food, now-a-days, but his food aversions were seldom and in between.

That was another thing. He's been having the strangest cravings and at all the weirdest times. As he threw up the first time that morning, he'd wanted salsa. As Jo helped him up and out of the bathroom, then down the stairs, he'd wanted French toast. And when Cas had been doing his "protect and save" rant, Dean had been preoccupied wondering how many mangoes he could eat right that very second without throwing them all up again.

And don't get him started on the mood swings. One second, he's sick and feeling sorry as hell for himself, then he's given a glass of something light and sweet and suddenly, the world is all sunshine and rainbows. He's told he's pregnant with twelve little monster babies, and now everything just feels...empty. Hopeless. But Cas turns that beautiful little smile on him and tells Dean everything he's ever wanted to hear (even if the entire time, he's convinced it's all bull****) and puts a hand on his stomach, like the ugly little brutes crawling around inside of him, to Cas, are miracles from God...Dean feels like nothing could ever go wrong again, like they are untouchable and no matter what, everything will always be okay because Cas says it will and that, for once, is all Dean needs.

But the moment he's gone, Dean can only hold onto the ghost of the feel of Cas's lips on his forehead and hold back the tears until he's alone, upstairs.

The part that's the weirdest, that throws him off the most, is the pain-and the other weird little things. Like how, when he woke up, he was so very hot, but an hour later, when he goes up to get dressed for their hunt, he's so cold he has to dress himself in layers. Like how he could smell the sandwiches Ellen was making halfway down the stairs and the moment she'd brought out the Nutella, he'd ran in, grabbed the tub, and downed the whole thing, ignoring Ellen's muttered, "Pig!". Like how his chest hurts like Hell for no real reason and his stomach feels like its expanded to fifty times the Sun, no matter what the mirror or his loose-fitting pants tell him otherwise. Like how sleepy he felt _all the time_...

No, being pregnant wasn't easy at all. And being pregnant with twelve little monsters (literally) was...almost unbearable. Luckily, Dean was as tough as knives and had promised Castiel he could get through this, even if he had to cry like a girl or eat like he was going into hibernation to do it (in maybe not so many words, if any at all. They were good like that). If anyone could tough this out, Dean could. _At least_, he thought as he finished off the milk as reached for the bag of chips he'd snagged from Sams bag before leaving, _I hope I can_.

"Dean!"

Dean looked up as Sam came charging towards him, stopping a bit in front of him, then crouching down so they were at eye level.

"Hey man, how're you feeling?"

Dean shrugged and stuffed his face with a handful of chips. The moment they hit his lips, he groaned and smiled so big he thought his face would break in half. "What the hell are these things, they're delicious!"

Sam chuckled. "They're salt and vinegar chips, Dean; you know, the kind you hate? That's why I keep them in _my _bag."

Dean stopped in his face-stuffing a minute to give Sams knowing smirk a defensive glare. "I don't know who you're looking at, *****face, 'cause I sure as Hell didn't take you're dumb chips."

"Sure, Dean, sure." Sam rolled his eyes then got serious. "Hey Dean...I just wanna say I'm sorry-about what I said-"

Dean waved an arm. "None taken, bro, consider it done and forgotten."

"So...you're not mad still? Not even a little?"

Dean shook his head and smiled, tossing the empty chip bag into Sams arms and tucking his body back into the car, starting it and watching as Sam got into the passenger seat.

"Huh", Sam muttered, "Must be the hormones."

* * *

*_if you think he's giving in too easily, he is. He's too tired to fight much._

**I'd just like to take a moment to defend myself and say that if anything seems to out of character or wimpy for Dean or the rest of the crew, it's probably intentional and what I think would be a reasonable reaction (in accordance to the characters basic emotional response to crisis and change) to this situation.**

**If, though, for any reason you feel I've completely obliterated something (like Deans masculinity) or (like Lucifer and his random disappearing act), please don't feel like you need to remind me. Most likely, I've already almost rewritten the chapter three times because of it and have simply given up and left it there. Although, if you somehow happen to accidentally miss that sentence in this long rant and decide to tell me anyway, I might maybe try to change it or fix it. Not promising anything, though.**

**As always, Read, review, alert, whatever. Just tell me what you think :)  
**

**-Perse Q.  
**


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